Was a women created to be her man’s ‘help-meet’… appeasing, subservient, crying in anger and yet carrying a smile… a Lilith- ousted from Eden of equality, replaced by Eves of cunning, struggling every moment to regain her lost identity? Why do women carry that ‘Alabaster Jar’ to wipe a man’s rusted sinew or wash his ego calm with her tears? Why is ‘equality’ and ‘partnership’ such a darn farce? Why is it seen as a tragedy when a man is oppressed, and a tradition when a woman is oppressed? We are still a mediaeval mindset… men work and earn, talk about their glories, women slog, sweat and sob through their never ending chores, hoping for attention, seeking it not for survival but a little need for true love and not for those fake ‘I Love Yous’, waiting for the real partnership to happen someday, when man would not shy away from switching roles with his chosen woman, if she is at all. Why is homemaking only a woman’s business? And why can’t men be chivalrous in the upkeep of home and hearth, filling up of emptied bottles, binning discarded tissues, cleaning and drying clothes, folding and placing them neatly, dusting furniture, getting up before break of dawn, lifting, shifting and brushing things clean, burning through the furnace to plate sumptuous meals, running and rushing at every beck and call, exhausted yet carrying the baton of family much beyond midnight, and repeating the same beaten schedule through the next day and the next and the next….amidst heavy lids that refuse to be rid of the puffs and dark circles around themselves, earned through misplaced notions of pride?
Ah men! What an ego bloat you are! Did I hear sighs of resentment towards these thoughts? Well, traditions are ageless and so is oppression! And love and sacrifice are taken for granted. Oh yes! We all have heard it so many times….. ‘real men don’t do housework!’ Of course yes, they only boast, and brag and flex their muscles. And abuse too! Don’t forget that! It’s their prerogative, for women and ladies essentially do not abuse. They only tolerate. And who said its a bad thing to want a wife whose universe would revolve around her husband, housework and children? We all have known only this way through the ages right? Men are not judged for a messy house but a woman is! She can’t even burn beer but men can drown in booze. Even working women do far more work than working men! But a man rules the roost for he is the main bread earner. He not only wants his wife to be perfect but also wants her to appear neat, tidy and pretty. It hurts his image of things are otherwise. What will people think of him if he doesn’t doll up his wife?
It’s time we women reclaim our esteem. Let men also move and exert a bit more and brag a lot less please! And be a partner and comrade and friend in true sense of these terms. For once, I hope to see men truly being men, and not just in hollow words. It’s time to be real strong women and not just women of strength. Did you ever ponder upon how we menstruate, and bear all the pain with producing babies, changing nappies, feeding them, looking after them, carry those stretch marks with elan, never complaining, and yet you crudely rudely ride over us, tiring from working or even not working, demanding every cell of us, and yet expecting us to smile and die every moment, and yet living for you? Because you only live for yourself… Your trials, your tribulations, your achievements, your defeats, your struggles and your stories. Whereas we are not awarded a reason to live for us. I do not want to be a victim for I hate it so much to be subservient. For once I want to be free….before I die!
Devapriya